Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Wal-Mart proves its patriotism

From the Boston Globe, via Arnie Arnesen, comes this incredibly reassuring story:

BENTONVILLE, Ark. - Wal-Mart Stores Inc. has signed on to an Army Reserve program in which the company and the Army will work together to recruit and train people interested in serving in the military and working for the giant retailer. continue reading



This presents so many opportunities! With its vaunted purchasing power, Wal-Mart could save the Department of Defense billions by equipping and arming those reservists. Wal-Mart could contract with Chinese and Indian manufacturers for uniforms, weapons, ordinance, field equipment, and even GPS units and computers and other electronic devices which could then be dispensed to troops as they're called to duty. The cost savings would be phenomenal, not just because the goods would carry a much lower price than what the DOD normally pays through its "competitive" bidding process, but also because thousands of acres of storage facilities could be eliminated and the military would be on a more competitive, "JIT - Just In Time" procurement track.

Not only that, but Wal-Mart could serve as the nation's military recruitment centers, administering tests, physicals, and background checks to ensure that no one of questionable moral or political character somehow found their way into the ranks of the military or in the aisles of their stores. It would reinforce America's confidence in Wal-Mart's commitment to "America".

Imagine, too, how safe Americans will feel shopping in Wal-Mart when its employees are all heavily armed and properly vetted, and know how to respond in case of a Chemical, Biological or Radiological Attack! Terrorists wouldn't dare venture anywhere near a Wal-Mart store, assuring Americans that they can fulfill their patriotic duty to shop.

So many possibilities, so little time to consider them all. I really must put my "snark" device on overdrive.


4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Not to mention the advantage it would give Walmart in persuading recalcitrant towns that a new store would be to their advantage.

Anonymous said...

Interesting post..! I love WalMart.

Anonymous said...

Of course - brilliant - another class of individuals who they won't have to pay to provide medical insurance. They can hire military part time and not worry about their insurance costs because they already have insurace through the military. Hmmm...which brilliant employee is getting the cost savings bonus for this idea?

I'd be impressed if the big, generous, civic minded (anyone else gagging yet) Walmart stepped up to the plate and provided medical insurace for all of its workforce rather than depending on the government to pay the costs of their employees. I'd also be impressed if they would pay a livable wage so that their employees would not rely on taxpayers to pay their employees the Earned Income Credit. Maybe reduce the salaries and bonuses of the executives to cover those costs?

Oh yeah, Walmart doing something for the good of anyone but themselves and their bottom line...NOT!

Anonymous said...

I wonder how patriotic the family of Jdimytai Damour's family thinks Walmart is. Walmart's corporate execs know there are huge crowds at their stores on Black Friday, yet they did NOTHING for crowd control. There is no Walmart corporate policy to ensure the safety of its employees and customers on Black Friday - a day they know brings in wild crowds. And now a poor man is dead!! And the executives don't care. Have you seen any of their executives come out and apologize for their negligence or express concern for the dead man's family? Oh, no, of course not! No execs personally came out and spoke. Why interrupt their Thanksgiving weekend over a dead employee?!! They have no shame.

I am disgusted. Totally disgusted. I hope others will join me in not shopping at Walmart. I am done with that store. Their execs have no regard for human life - and I mean human life as it applies to living and breathing human life, making sure people are safe inside their stores and outside in their parking lots (where customers are mugged/killed/raped and they refuse to provide security and their security cameras are not even turned on) and as it applies to making sure its employees earn decent wages and have basic insurance. I cannot ever, ever step foot in a Walmart store again.

The death of Jdimytai Damour was the last straw. I hope others are as disgusted by that corporation as I am and they will also refuse to shop there. Those executives have blood on their hands. How do they sleep at night? :(