Wal-Mart proves its patriotism

From the Boston Globe, via Arnie Arnesen, comes this incredibly reassuring story:

BENTONVILLE, Ark. - Wal-Mart Stores Inc. has signed on to an Army Reserve program in which the company and the Army will work together to recruit and train people interested in serving in the military and working for the giant retailer. continue reading



This presents so many opportunities! With its vaunted purchasing power, Wal-Mart could save the Department of Defense billions by equipping and arming those reservists. Wal-Mart could contract with Chinese and Indian manufacturers for uniforms, weapons, ordinance, field equipment, and even GPS units and computers and other electronic devices which could then be dispensed to troops as they're called to duty. The cost savings would be phenomenal, not just because the goods would carry a much lower price than what the DOD normally pays through its "competitive" bidding process, but also because thousands of acres of storage facilities could be eliminated and the military would be on a more competitive, "JIT - Just In Time" procurement track.

Not only that, but Wal-Mart could serve as the nation's military recruitment centers, administering tests, physicals, and background checks to ensure that no one of questionable moral or political character somehow found their way into the ranks of the military or in the aisles of their stores. It would reinforce America's confidence in Wal-Mart's commitment to "America".

Imagine, too, how safe Americans will feel shopping in Wal-Mart when its employees are all heavily armed and properly vetted, and know how to respond in case of a Chemical, Biological or Radiological Attack! Terrorists wouldn't dare venture anywhere near a Wal-Mart store, assuring Americans that they can fulfill their patriotic duty to shop.

So many possibilities, so little time to consider them all. I really must put my "snark" device on overdrive.